Remember the good old days of popping a VHS tape into your VCR, waiting for it to rewind (and praying it wasn’t your little brother who last watched it and didn’t rewind), then settling in for a movie night or binge-watching your favorite TV show? Ah, the nostalgia! But now in the age of streaming, those clunky black plastic rectangles are collecting dust in a box in your basement. Before you unceremoniously dump them in the garbage or try to pawn them off at a garage sale to some VHS-obsessed hipster, consider these creative alternate uses for your retro tapes.
1. Build the World’s Most Annoying Wind Chime
Bust out your scissors and cut those magnetic tape ribbons into varying lengths. Tie them onto a hanger or stick, and voila, you’ve got yourself a wind chime that will make nails-on-a-chalkboard sound like Mozart in comparison. Your neighbors will love you, guaranteed. Friendship bracelets are so 1995 anyway.
2. Forge a Fake Alibi
Let’s say you need to account for your whereabouts during a certain window of time. Just set your VCR to record whatever channel during that period and boom, you’ve got “proof” you were vegging on the couch watching infomercials for the Magic Bullet. Definitely don’t use this tip for nefarious or illegal purposes though. I’m not here to be your accomplice!
3. Create Conceptual Art
Arrange a bunch of tapes, preferably with ironic or funny titles, in a funky sculpture. Bring it to your local art walk and make up some deep meaning behind it, like it represents the death of physical media in an increasingly digital world, or some BS like that. If anyone questions you, just look at them pretentiously and mutter “you just don’t get it.” Smoke a clove cigarette for added effect.
4. Protect Your Stuff During a Move
Forget wasteful bubble wrap – just sandwich your breakables between VHS tapes when packing for a move. As a bonus, the tapes might absorb the soul of a B-list actor, imbuing your plates and stemware with a quirky aura.
5. Make a Coffee Table Conversation Piece
Glue a bunch of tapes together into a rectangular prism and slap a piece of glass on top – instant upcycled coffee table! It’s sure to spark plenty of “OMG remember when…” convos at your next party. Place coasters strategically to hide copies of embarrassing titles.
6. Construct a Literal Movie Fort
Remember building pillow forts as a kid? Relive the magic by using VHS tapes to construct an adult-sized movie fort. Just stack them up like bricks until you’ve got four walls. Drape a blanket over top, crawl inside, and stream movies on your phone. Pretend it’s 1989 and you’re watching them on VHS.
7. Gift Wrap with a Retro Twist
Ditch the generic gift bags and wrap your presents in VHS tape ribbons instead. The lucky recipient will have a gift and craft supplies all in one. Or keep the case on and use it as a super bulky gift box. Wrap THAT in VHS tape ribbons for extra credit.
8. Bookends for Your Hipster Collection
Use VHS tapes to hold up your vinyl records, vintage cameras, and dog-eared copies of Kerouac novels. Your hipster cred will go through the roof. Snap some pics for the ‘Gram but add a grainy filter so it looks like you used actual film.
9. A Guilt-Free Coaster Set
Remember all those tapes you got for free in the mail from AOL and Earthlink back in the dial-up days? Don’t feel bad about using those as coasters for your PBR tallboys. As a bonus, the condensation might cause the ink to transfer to your furniture, creating an unintentional work of art.
10. Portable Lumbar Support
Stick a VHS tape behind your lower back during a long car ride or day at the office for makeshift lumbar support. Halfway through, switch it out with another tape so you can claim you’re “making progress” on a huge to-watch list.
11. Build a Black Box for Your Secrets
Hide your juiciest secrets, like your embarrassing middle school diary or receding hairline, inside a hollowed-out VHS tape case. Label it something boring like “Golfing Tips” so no one will ever bother looking inside. Although if a tape promising golfing tips has gathered dust for years untouched, that might be a clue in itself that you’re hiding something.
12. At-Home Nunchucks Practice
Swing a tape around by its ribbons to practice your amateur kung fu skills. You’re basically halfway to being Bruce Lee. The neighbors below you probably won’t even mind the constant thudding sounds.
13. A Peep Hole Cover for Paranoiacs
Slide a VHS tape in front of your peep hole when you’re feeling especially paranoid. Would-be spies will be thwarted by a choice movie still.
14. A Really Inconvenient Bookmark
Stick a VHS tape in your book to hold your place, then lug the whole thing around and whip it out on the subway so everyone knows how quirky and well-read you are.
15. DIY Scarecrow
Arrange a bunch of tapes in a vaguely human shape in your garden and surround with straw. It’ll scare off the crows AND the neighborhood kids who trample your vegetable patch.
16. Make Your Own “Do Not Disturb” Door Hanger
Loop VHS tape around your doorknob when you need a little privacy. Black out the explicit scenes with a Sharpie first, or don’t, whatever.
17. Emergency Straight Edge
In a pinch, a VHS tape makes a serviceable straight edge for your arts and crafts needs. Doesn’t matter if your scissors go off course and slice the tape, what were you going to do, watch it?
18. A Low-Tech Baby Monitor
Stick a baby toy on a tape ribbon, then dangle it through the bars of your kid’s crib to entertain and distract them. Just keep an ear out for the loud clunk that means they’ve yanked the whole tape in there with them.
19. Ransom Note Supplies
Clip out individual letters from VHS tape covers to craft an untraceable ransom note…you know, for funsies! Not for actual kidnapping. Bonus points for using letters from a cop drama.
20. Giant Jenga
Stack VHS tapes on their skinny sides to build a giant Jenga tower. When it inevitably topples, try to read a coherent sentence from the movie titles on the tapes. That’s entertainment!
So there you have it, 20 ridiculous ways to reuse those old VHS tapes that I’m sure would make Marie Kondo super proud. Or not. I don’t know, I’m not a tidying expert. But I do know that with a little creativity (and a total lack of shame), you can find a new purpose for pretty much anything. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go glue some tapes together to make a privacy screen for my upcoming avant-garde performance art piece. It’s going to be super deep and meaningful, obviously.
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