Winning a pickled pig’s feet eating contest takes a strong jaw, a stretched stomach, a plan for the bones, and the morals of a man who licks his fingers at funerals. The rules are simple. Eat more briny pork ankles than the other degenerates before the buzzer, and keep every bite inside your body like…
Wearing an adult diaper to a wedding in style comes down to loose fabric, dark colors, and a waistband that could tow a pickup truck. Nail these 15 stylish ways to wear your adult diaper to a wedding and nobody will know about the Depend unless you do the worm. Also, relax. Nearly 100 million…
The best places to hide from your wife inside a Walmart are the Auto Care Center, the garden center, the fishing aisle, and one spot she’ll never suspect: family planning. Everywhere else is a trap. The car is a trap with cupholders. Science supports the urge to run. Men get bored after just 26 minutes…
Winter survival tips for people living in a porta potty boil down to four rules. Trap body heat, keep the tank liquid, light nothing, and lower your standards to ankle height. Rent is up, dating is down, and the housing market has finally found its bottom. It’s plastic, it’s blue, and it smells like a…
Learning how to eat an entire rotisserie chicken while skydiving blindfolded comes down to one rule: most of the bird goes down under the parachute, not in freefall. Freefall is a minute of screaming. The canopy ride is several quiet minutes of chewing, dangling, and making direct eye contact with nobody, because you’re blindfolded and…
A freshly extracted wisdom tooth is a bloody little souvenir from the day a stranger shoved his whole hand in your mouth and billed your insurance for it. The 7 party tricks you can do with a freshly extracted wisdom tooth turn that souvenir into a bar bet, a hedge fund, a Ouija board, and…