Brace yourself, dear reader, for a wild ride into the world of the unintentional biker gang. You might be wondering, “How could I possibly be in a biker gang and not know it?” Well, buckle up, because we’re about to explore the hilarious and absurd signs that you might just be a part of this elusive club.
Unexpected Affinity for Leather
Leather jackets have become your wardrobe staple. You’ve got more leather than a herd of cows. It’s gotten to the point where your dry cleaner has started offering you a frequent customer discount.
Your couch is made of pleather, but you secretly wish it were the real deal. You find yourself caressing the armrests and whispering, “Someday, my dear, someday.” You’ve even started wearing leather pants to the grocery store. The cashier gives you a side-eye, but you just smile and say, “It’s a biker thing. You wouldn’t understand.”
Your Garage Has Become a Motorcycle Sanctuary
Your garage has become a shrine to all things motorcycle. You’ve got more bikes than a Honda dealership. Your significant other has started referring to the garage as “your other mistress.”
You’ve named all your bikes and talk to them like they’re your children. You’ve even started singing them lullabies at night. You’ve considered turning your living room into a motorcycle showroom, but your significant other has put their foot down. For now.
You’ve Got a Serious Case of Wanderlust
You’d rather take a cross-country road trip on your bike than fly first class. You’ve got a map covered in red string and pushpins, plotting out your next great adventure. Your idea of the perfect vacation involves a full tank of gas and an open road.
You’ve got more road maps than a truck stop. You’ve even started collecting them as souvenirs. Your friends have started calling you “Magellan,” but you just smile and say, “I’m not discovering new lands. I’m discovering myself.”
Your Social Calendar Revolves Around Biker Events
Your weekends are filled with bike rallies and motorcycle shows. You’ve got a group chat dedicated solely to coordinating rides and events. Your non-biker friends have started to feel a little left out, but you just tell them, “You can’t handle this kind of excitement.”
You’ve started referring to non-biker friends as “civilians.” You’ve even started a secret handshake with your fellow bikers. Your non-biker friends are starting to get suspicious, but you just tell them, “It’s a biker thing. You wouldn’t understand.”
You’ve Developed a Strange Fascination with Skulls
Your wardrobe has started to resemble a heavy metal album cover. You’ve got skull-themed gear for every occasion. Your significant other has started to worry that you’re going through a midlife crisis.
You’ve considered getting a skull tattoo, or maybe you already have one (or two). You’ve started decorating your home with skull-themed artwork. Your friends have started to call your place “the House of Skulls,” but you just smile and say, “It’s a biker thing. You wouldn’t understand.”
You’ve Got a Secret Stash of Bandanas
You’ve got a bandana for every day of the week, and then some. You’ve started wearing bandanas as fashion accessories, even when you’re not riding. Your significant other has started to worry that you’re turning into a pirate.
You’ve got a bandana-folding technique that would make a Boy Scout jealous. You’ve even started teaching your non-biker friends how to fold them. They look at you with confusion, but you just smile and say, “It’s a biker thing. You wouldn’t understand.”
You’ve Adopted a New Bikergang Language
You’ve started using biker lingo in everyday conversations without even realizing it. Your non-biker friends have started to look at you with confusion. You’ve got a secret biker gang handshake that you’ve taught to your non-biker friends. They look at you with amusement, but you just smile and say, “It’s a biker thing. You wouldn’t understand.”
You’ve started referring to your non-biker friends as “prospects” and encouraging them to join the “club.” They look at you with suspicion, but you just smile and say, “It’s a biker thing. You wouldn’t understand.”
Conclusion
Well, there you have it. If any of these signs sound familiar, it’s time to face the facts: you might just be a bikergang member and not even know it. But hey, that’s not such a bad thing. After all, who wouldn’t want to be part of a club that’s all about freedom, adventure, and looking seriously cool in leather?
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