Panic Attacks at the Grocery Store: How to Hide in the Snack Aisle

Welcome to the Grocery Store, Where Dreams and Sanity Come to Die

Been to the grocery store recently? The aroma of fresh bread wafts through the air, the plethora of colored fruits majestically stacked, and that all-too-familiar feeling of a panic attack seeping in as you realize that everyone in the store is absolutely, positively, one hundred percent judging you. Oh yeah. It’s panic attack central!

Ditching the Dreadful Dashes Down the Aisle

We’ve all been there. Casually perusing the snack aisle for that one delicious treasure (don’t deny it), and then WHAM! A wild panic attack appears! Your heart races, your hands start to shake, and suddenly every aisle of the store is like a maze you just can’t navigate fast enough. Your shallow, rapid breaths can only mean one thing – it’s time to hide in the snack aisle.

Quickly scan your surroundings as you casually slide behind the wall of chips and cookies (what, no cake?!). Your heartache for the bakery section will have to wait – it’s go-time. Ensure you have no pursuers (aka judgmental shoppers) and stealthily creep to the far end of the aisle. It’s time to create a fortress of solitude… and snacks. What’s a fortress without a moat of sugary cereal currents and guardian gummy bears? Construction begins now.

Building Your Delicious Fortress One Cookie at a Time

Remember playing with Lego blocks as a kid? This is pretty much the same thing. One snack on top of the other, the possibilities are endless (unless you’re gluten-free or something; for that, I apologize in advance). Start stacking those bags of chips like they’re bricks holding up the walls of your edible palace! While doing so, make sure to throw in some random commentary like, “I’m just comparing the nutrition labels” or “why on earth do these chips have more calories than a newborn baby?!”

As you construct your fortress walls, you’ll feel safe and sound in your savory sanctuary, devoid of panic-inducing eyes. Plus, you’ll surely end up with an architecturally-stable structure since everyone knows food doesn’t judge. It just tastes good.

The Sweet Release of Snack Sanctuary

There you are. Hidden within your snack-nest, you feel the panic slowly start to dissipate. No one on the outside would dare infiltrate your perfect hideout (mainly because they have no clue it’s a hideout). But, you my friend, now have the upper hand.

Take some deep breaths and collect yourself. You’ve achieved a safe haven from the suffocating tendrils of your panic attack. Begin breathing exercises, visualize your happy place or just stuff your face with a bag of cheese puffs to take the edge off.

The Great Escape

Finally, the moment has come. Your heartbeat has returned to a more human pace, and you’re ready to emerge from your cookie-filled cocoon (or was that just me?) as a stronger and more confident grocery shopper (mhm, that’s what they all say).

Your once-ailing confidence has been renewed by the snack aisle’s warm embrace, and there’s no doubt you’ll conquer the rest of your grocery shopping.

So go forth, my panic-attack-prone friend, now wielder of the snack aisle shield. Conquer that grocery store like you just won HQ!