Why Even Morbidly Obese People Should Join a Motorcyle Gang

Ladies and gentlemen, rev up those engines and put on your leather jackets, because we’re about to embark on a wild ride through the world of motorcycle gangs. And before you start scratching your head wondering why on earth even morbidly obese people should consider joining such a group, hold onto your helmets, because we’re about to explore the unexpected perks of this two-wheeled adventure. So, fasten your seatbelts – or should I say, snap your helmet straps – as we dive into this unconventional journey!

Built-in Workout Plan

Let’s face it; the idea of squeezing into spandex and hitting the gym can be a nightmare for many, especially for those of us who have a few extra pounds to spare. But fear not, my portly pals, because motorcycle gangs offer a built-in workout plan that doesn’t involve treadmills or kale smoothies.

Picture this: You, astride a roaring bike, wind in your hair, and the open road ahead. It may not look like much, but maintaining control of a hulking machine as you navigate twists and turns will have those muscles working overtime. Your thighs will be firmer than a perfectly grilled steak, and your biceps might just rival Popeye’s after a can of spinach.

Intimidation Factor

Ever dreamt of having an aura of intimidation that could clear a path through a crowded room? Well, being part of a motorcycle gang can grant you just that, regardless of your size. These groups are like the modern-day knights of the highway, and just like knights had their armor, you’ve got your leather jacket.

People tend to think twice before messing with a group of bikers, regardless of their physique. So, even if you tip the scales, you’ll have the advantage of intimidation on your side. You’ll be the enigma everyone talks about: the gentle giant who could rip phone books in half while sipping on a milkshake.

Inclusivity Beyond Measure

One of the most surprising aspects of motorcycle gangs is their unparalleled inclusivity. They don’t discriminate based on your size, shape, or the number of tattoos you have (although, the more ink, the better, I hear). These groups are all about brotherhood and unity, which means they’re more interested in your love for the open road than your waistline.

So, don’t let society’s body standards hold you back. Whether you’re as sleek as a panther or round as a sumo wrestler, you’ll find your place in a motorcycle gang. And remember, it’s not about fitting into a mold; it’s about creating your own unique one.

A Mobile Buffet on Two Wheels

Now, let’s address the elephant – or rather, the buffet – in the room. It’s no secret that motorcycle gangs love their food stops, and boy, do they know how to pick the juiciest diners and greasiest dives along the way.

For those who carry a little extra padding, these pitstops are nothing short of paradise. You won’t be judged for ordering the entire menu, and no one will bat an eye if you ask for extra gravy on your fries. In fact, you might earn some street cred for your culinary courage. So, why settle for a salad when you can feast like a king on the road?

Unconventional Social Circle

Lastly, being part of a motorcycle gang introduces you to a social circle that’s anything but ordinary. You’ll meet people from all walks of life, and the bonds formed in these groups are stronger than the grip of a gorilla.

Your fellow gang members become your extended family, ready to ride alongside you through life’s twists and turns. And while you might not be the poster child for a fitness magazine, you’ll be the heart and soul of the gang, the one who brings a smile to everyone’s face with your wit, humor, and fearless spirit.

In conclusion, joining a motorcycle gang, even if you’re morbidly obese, can be a thrilling and rewarding experience. You’ll get a workout without the gym, an intimidation factor that transcends appearances, and a sense of inclusivity that’s truly heartwarming. So, don’t let societal norms hold you back – hop on that hog and let the good times roll!


I'm a human being. Usually hungry. I don't have lice.

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