Time Management Tips for Remote Workers

Working from home has its perks: no commute, no dress code, and the ability to raid your fridge whenever you please. But with great power comes great responsibility, and by responsibility, I mean the daunting task of managing your time effectively. Here are some totally legit and not at all ridiculous tips for maximizing your productivity while working remotely.

Pajama Lifestyle: The New Business Casual

Let’s face it, one of the best parts of working from home is the ability to wear whatever you want. And by whatever you want, I mean pajamas. All day, every day. In fact, studies have shown that wearing pajamas can increase your productivity by up to 200%*.

*Studies may or may not have been conducted by me, in my pajamas.

But why stop at pajamas? Take it to the next level with a onesie. Nothing says “I’m a professional adult” like wearing a giant, fluffy animal costume while participating in a Zoom meeting. Bonus points if you coordinate your onesie with your virtual background.

The Pomodoro Technique: Tomato, Tomahto

The Pomodoro Technique is a time management method that involves working in 25-minute intervals, followed by a short break. But who has time to set a timer every 25 minutes? Instead, try the “Pomodoro-ish” technique:

1. Work until you get hungry.
2. Eat a snack.
3. Repeat steps 1 and 2 until the workday is over.

This way, you’ll never forget to take a break, and you’ll always have a steady supply of snacks to fuel your productivity.

Multitasking: The Key to Doing Everything Poorly

Multitasking is a myth. Studies have shown that trying to do multiple things at once actually decreases productivity and increases the likelihood of making mistakes. But where’s the fun in that? Here are some tips for multitasking like a pro:

• Try to schedule all your Zoom meetings at the same time. That way, you can participate in multiple conversations at once and never miss a beat.
• Combine household chores with work tasks. Folding laundry during a conference call? Genius!
• Take up juggling. It’s the ultimate multitasking activity, and it doubles as a party trick for when we’re allowed to have parties again.

The Power of Procrastination

Procrastination gets a bad rap, but hear me out: it’s actually a powerful productivity tool. Think about it – when you wait until the last minute to do something, you’re forced to work quickly and efficiently. Plus, the adrenaline rush of an impending deadline is better than any cup of coffee.

To harness the power of procrastination, try this:

1. Wait until the last possible moment to start a task.
2. Panic.
3. Channel that panic into a burst of productivity.
4. Bask in the glory of your completed work.

Sure, it may not be the most stress-free approach, but it gets the job done.

Boundaries: Who Needs ‘Em?

Setting boundaries between work and personal life is crucial when working from home. But let’s be real – boundaries are meant to be crossed. Here are some ways to blur the lines between work and play:

• Answer work emails while watching Netflix. You’ll be surprised how much more entertaining your inbox becomes when you’re also engrossed in the latest true crime documentary.
• Take conference calls from bed. It’s like a mini-vacation, except you’re still working.
• Use your lunch break to online shop. Just make sure you’re not sharing your screen on Zoom when you do it.

Looking Busy: A Survival Guide

Just because you’re working from home doesn’t mean you can slack off. But sometimes, despite your best efforts, you just don’t have much to do. That’s where the art of looking busy comes in. Here are some tips:

1. Always have a document open on your computer. It doesn’t matter what it is – a blank Word doc, a spreadsheet, or even just your desktop. As long as it looks like you’re working on something, you’re golden.
2. Furrow your brow and type furiously. Even if you’re just typing gibberish, it’ll look like you’re deep in thought and working hard.
3. Use a lot of jargon. Throw around terms like “synergy,” “optimization,” and “paradigm shift.” No one will know what you’re talking about, but they’ll be too afraid to ask.

Napping: The Secret to Success

Napping is the unsung hero of the remote work world. A quick snooze can boost your creativity, improve your memory, and give you the energy you need to power through the rest of the day. But how do you incorporate napping into your workday without getting caught? Here are some tips:

• Invest in a nap pod. Sure, they’re expensive, but can you really put a price on the ability to sleep on the job?
• If a nap pod isn’t in the budget, try sleeping under your desk. Just make sure to set an alarm so you don’t oversleep and miss your next meeting.
• If all else fails, just close your eyes and pretend to be deep in thought. If anyone asks, just say you’re “visualizing success.”

Social Media: The Ultimate Time Suck

Social media is the ultimate productivity killer. It’s like a black hole that sucks you in and spits you out hours later, wondering where the day went. But let’s be honest, sometimes you just need a break from work to scroll through your feeds and see what your high school frenemy is up to.

Here’s how to make the most of your social media breaks:

• Set a timer for your social media breaks. When the timer goes off, it’s back to work (or at least pretending to work).
• Follow accounts that are related to your job. That way, you can convince yourself that you’re doing research and not just procrastinating.
• Post about how hard you’re working. Nothing says “I’m a dedicated employee” like a carefully curated Instagram story of your #workfromhomelife.

Ergonomics: Who Needs a Fancy Chair Anyway?

Ergonomics is important when you’re working from home. You want to make sure you have a comfortable chair, a desk at the right height, and good lighting. But let’s be real, who has the time or money to invest in a fancy ergonomic setup?

Here are some budget-friendly alternatives:

• Use a stack of books as a makeshift standing desk. Bonus points if they’re actually work-related books.
• Sit on a yoga ball instead of a chair. It’s great for your core strength and doubles as a fun way to bounce around during Zoom meetings.
• Work from your couch or bed. Sure, it may not be the most ergonomic option, but it’s definitely the most comfortable.

The Fake Commute: A New Morning Routine

One of the biggest perks of working from home is the lack of a commute. No more sitting in traffic or dealing with crowded trains. But sometimes, you might miss that time to yourself to mentally prepare for the day ahead.

Enter the fake commute. Here’s how to do it:

1. Wake up at your usual time and get dressed as if you were going to the office.
2. Walk around the block a few times, or drive around your neighborhood if you’re feeling lazy.
3. Stop at a coffee shop and grab a cup of joe to go.
4. Return home and start your workday feeling refreshed and ready to tackle whatever comes your way.

The Mute Button: Your New Best Friend

The mute button is your best friend when working from home. It’s like a magic wand that can instantly make you appear more professional and put together, even if you’re actually a hot mess.

Here are some situations where the mute button comes in handy:

• When your dog starts barking at the mailman during a conference call.
• When you’re eating lunch and don’t want your coworkers to hear you chewing.
• When you need to yell at your kids to be quiet while you’re on a call.
• When you just need a moment to scream into the void without anyone hearing you.

And there you have it, folks. The ultimate guide to time management for remote workers. Sure, these tips may not be conventional, but who wants to be conventional anyway? Embrace the chaos, rock that onesie, and remember – the mute button is your friend. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with my couch and a pint of ice cream. Happy working from home!