The Complete Guide to Selling on Etsy

Alright folks, buckle up because we’re about to embark on a wild ride through the wonderfully wacky world of selling on Etsy. If you’ve ever dreamed of quitting your soul-crushing 9-to-5 job and becoming your own boss by hawking handmade trinkets to hipsters online, then you’ve come to the right place! This is the ULTIMATE guide to Etsy success.

Why Sell on Etsy?

First things first, let’s talk about why you should even bother with Etsy in the first place:

You enjoy crafting quirky items that no one really needs but somehow can’t resist buying
The thought of dealing with a traditional boss makes you break out in hives
You believe the world needs more crocheted toilet paper roll cozies and felted gnome hats
Spending hours photographing your creations in rustic, vintage settings sounds like a great way to spend a Saturday
You thrive on the adrenaline rush of getting that coveted “ka-ching” sales notification

If any of the above resonates with you on a spiritual level, then you, my friend, are destined for Etsy greatness.

Setting Up Your Shop

Now that we’ve established your calling, it’s time to get down to brass tacks and set up your very own Etsy shop. Here’s what you’ll need to do:

Come up with a clever and memorable shop name that captures your unique brand. Something like “Knitted Nose Warmers ‘R Us” or “Bedazzled Beer Koozies by Brenda”. The more niche and nonsensical, the better.
Create a banner and avatar that screams “I’m a quirky creative type!” Think: cats wearing bow ties, owls with monocles, or sloths riding unicycles. Anything that says “I put the ‘fun’ in ‘functional art’!”
Write a shop bio that’s equal parts heartwarming and hilarious. Be sure to mention how you started crafting as a way to cope with your quarter-life crisis and how each of your pieces is lovingly made in your 200 square foot studio apartment.
Set up your shipping profiles. This is where things can get a bit tricky since you’ll need to figure out how to stuff a 6-foot macrame hammock into a flat rate envelope. But hey, where there’s a will (and a lot of bubble wrap), there’s a way!

Creating Listings That Sell

Congrats, your shop is now open for business! Time to start listing those one-of-a-kind creations. Here are some tips for crafting listings that are sure to convert:

Use ALL the keywords. The more random and unrelated, the better. For example, if you’re selling a hand-painted ceramic mug, be sure to include keywords like “mug”, “cup”, “ceramic”, “coffee”, “tea”, “breakfast”, “morning”, “kitchen”, “unique”, “handmade”, and “artisanal”. Throw in “gluten-free” and “organic” for good measure.
Write product descriptions that border on the absurd. Don’t just say “This is a scarf.” Say “This is a one-of-a-kind, hand-knitted, artisanal, small-batch, locally-sourced, fair-trade, organic, gluten-free, vegan scarf that will make you the envy of all your friends and probably cure your seasonal affective disorder.” The more adjectives, the better.
Take photos that are so heavily filtered and styled, it’s hard to tell what you’re actually selling. Who cares if that cutting board is covered in artfully scattered wildflowers and vintage books? It’s all about the A E S T H E T I C.
Price your items based on the “I-spent-way-too-many-hours-on-this-and-should-probably-value-my-time-more” method. Sure, that beaded necklace only cost you $5 in materials, but factor in the 12 hours of Netlfix binging you did while making it and suddenly $85 seems totally reasonable.

Marketing Your Shop

Now that you’ve got some listings up, it’s time to start marketing your shop like a boss. Here are some totally legit and not at all desperate ways to get your shop noticed:

Spam your friends and family on social media. There’s nothing quite like logging onto Facebook and seeing 37 posts about your cousin’s new line of crocheted succulent cozies. Extra points if you can get your Grandma to share your posts with all her bingo buddies.
Join ALL the Etsy teams and participate in ALL the share threads. The more you share other people’s stuff, the more likely they are to share yours. It’s like a giant virtual craft circle where everyone gets a participation trophy.
Start an Instagram account solely dedicated to artsy photos of your products. Bonus points if you can incorporate a disembodied hand or foot in every shot. People love a good disembodied appendage.
Write guest posts for obscure craft blogs in exchange for a link back to your shop. Sure, “10 Ways to Repurpose Old Shoelaces” may not be the most riveting content, but if it gets you even one sale, it was totally worth it.

Dealing with Difficult Customers

As much as we all love the warm and fuzzy feeling of making a sale, dealing with customers can sometimes be a bit…challenging. Here’s how to handle some common customer conundrums:

The “I-didn’t-read-the-description” customer: You know the one. They leave a 1-star review because they thought they were buying a life-size ceramic elephant when in fact it was a tiny elephant-shaped earring. The best way to handle this is to politely explain that reading comprehension is an important life skill and perhaps they should look into taking a remedial class at their local community college.
The “I-need-it-yesterday” customer: This is the customer who places an order on December 23rd and expects it to arrive in time for Christmas. When it inevitably doesn’t, they send you a strongly worded message about how you’ve ruined their holiday. The best way to handle this is to apologize profusely and offer to send them a free lump of coal as a consolation gift.
The “I-want-to-speak-to-your-manager” customer: Ah, the classic “Karen”. This customer is never satisfied and will find fault with everything from your packaging to your shop policies. The best way to handle this is to remind them that you ARE the manager and if they don’t like it, they can take their business elsewhere (preferably to your biggest competitor’s shop).

Scaling Your Business

If you’ve made it this far and haven’t yet run screaming for the hills, congratulations! You’re officially an Etsy pro. Now it’s time to take your business to the next level. Here’s how:

Hire a team of underpaid interns to do all the grunt work while you sit back and collect the profits. Just kidding! (Or am I?)
Expand your product line to include items that literally no one asked for but you think are genius. Like crocheted beard warmers or felted root vegetable cozies. The world is your oyster (or felted oyster, if that’s your thing).
Start a YouTube channel where you share your “expert” crafting tips and tricks. Be sure to include lots of jump cuts, upbeat background music, and gratuitous shots of your adorable pet.
Write an e-book about your “journey to Etsy success” and sell it for an exorbitant price. Include lots of inspirational quotes and photos of you looking pensive in a field of wildflowers.

And there you have it, folks! The complete guide to selling on Etsy. Just remember, success on Etsy is 10% talent, 20% hard work, and 70% pure dumb luck. But with a little bit of humor and a whole lot of caffeine, anything is possible. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a batch of crocheted kale cozies to list.

Happy selling!