How Do Professional Tuba Players Find Gigs?

Ah, the life of a professional tuba player. The glamour, the fame, the endless stream of high-paying gigs just falling into your lap… wait, what’s that? You mean tuba players actually have to work to find gigs? They don’t just sit back and wait for the phone to ring with offers of sold-out stadium shows and lucrative endorsement deals?

Well, color me shocked (and slightly disappointed). It turns out that finding gigs as a professional tuba player is not quite as easy as one might think. But fear not, my brass-loving friends! I’m here to guide you through the wild and wacky world of tuba gig-hunting, with all the insider tips and tricks you need to succeed (or at least not starve).

The Tuba Player’s Networking Guide

First and foremost, let’s talk about the importance of networking. And no, I don’t mean the kind of networking that involves schmoozing with record execs and sipping champagne on yachts (although if you can swing that, more power to you). I’m talking about good old-fashioned, in-the-trenches networking with your fellow tuba players and musicians.

Here are a few key things to keep in mind when building your tuba network:

• Attend tuba conferences and workshops to meet other players and learn from the masters
• Join online tuba forums and social media groups to connect with players from around the world
• Collaborate with other musicians and ensembles, even if they’re not tuba-specific (you never know who might need a tuba player down the line)
• Be a good tuba citizen: support your fellow players, share gig leads and resources, and don’t be a diva (unless you’re playing the solo in “Ride of the Valkyries,” in which case, diva away)

And remember, networking is not just about what others can do for you – it’s about what you can do for others. So be generous with your time, your knowledge, and your tuba skills, and the gigs will come (or at least, that’s what my tuba guru told me, and he’s never steered me wrong… except for that one time he convinced me to play “The Star-Spangled Banner” on a unicycle, but that’s another story).

The Online Tuba Hustle

In today’s digital age, tuba players can’t afford to ignore the power of the internet when it comes to finding gigs. From online job boards to social media platforms, there are countless ways to connect with potential clients and showcase your tuba talents to the world.

Here are a few online strategies to consider:

1. Create a killer tuba website or online portfolio to showcase your skills and experience
2. Use tuba hashtags on social media to connect with other players and potential clients (#tubaislife, #tubalovers, #tubapocalypse)
3. Join online freelance musician platforms like Gigmasters or Thumbtack to find gigs in your area
4. Start a tuba-themed YouTube channel or podcast to build your brand and attract followers (bonus points if you can work in a tuba pun or two)

Of course, the online world can be a double-edged sword for tuba players. On the one hand, it’s a great way to reach a wider audience and find gigs you might not have access to otherwise. On the other hand, it’s also a breeding ground for lowball offers, flaky clients, and the occasional tuba troll (yes, they exist, and yes, they’re as annoying as you’d imagine).

But with a little patience, persistence, and a thick skin (both literally and figuratively – those online comments can be brutal), the online tuba hustle can pay off big time.

The Tuba-preneur Mindset

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “But wait, I’m a tuba player, not a businessman! I don’t know anything about marketing or sales or any of that stuff!”

And to that, I say: welcome to the club, my friend. Most tuba players didn’t get into this business to become entrepreneurs – they got into it for the love of the low brass. But in today’s competitive music industry, a little entrepreneurial spirit can go a long way.

Here are a few tuba-preneur tips to keep in mind:

• Treat your tuba playing as a business, not just a hobby (even if it feels like a very expensive, time-consuming hobby at times)
• Develop a unique selling proposition (USP) that sets you apart from other tuba players (e.g. “The Tuba Player Who Never Sleeps,” “The Tuba Player Who Can Play ‘Flight of the Bumblebee’ While Juggling Chainsaws”)
• Create a brand identity that reflects your personality and style (bonus points if you can incorporate a tuba into your logo)
• Don’t be afraid to think outside the box when it comes to gigs and opportunities (tuba flash mob, anyone?)

And above all, remember that success as a tuba-preneur is not just about booking gigs – it’s about building relationships, providing value, and creating a sustainable career that allows you to keep doing what you love (and maybe even afford that solid gold tuba you’ve been eyeing).

The Tuba Gig Survival Kit

Alright, so you’ve done your networking, you’ve hustled online, and you’ve embraced your inner tuba-preneur. Now it’s time to actually go out and play some gigs! But before you do, make sure you have your trusty tuba gig survival kit packed and ready to go.

Here are a few essential items to include:

1. Valve oil (because there’s nothing worse than a sticky valve in the middle of a gig)
2. Extra mouthpiece (because you never know when you might need a backup)
3. Tuba stand (because holding a tuba for hours on end is no joke)
4. Snacks and water (because low blood sugar and dehydration are the enemy of any tuba player)
5. Business cards (because you never know who you might meet at a gig)

And of course, don’t forget your tuba (duh) and your sheet music (double duh). Because showing up to a gig without your instrument or your music is like showing up to a job interview without your pants on – it’s not a good look.

The Tuba Gig Horror Stories

Now, I don’t want to scare you off from the exciting world of tuba gigging. But I would be remiss if I didn’t warn you about some of the potential pitfalls and horror stories that come with the territory.

Here are a few real-life tuba gig horror stories that will make you laugh, cry, and maybe even question your life choices:

• The time a tuba player showed up to a gig, only to realize he had forgotten his mouthpiece at home (he ended up playing the entire gig with his lips pressed against the leadpipe, like some kind of deranged tuba duck)
• The time a tuba player got lost on the way to a gig and ended up at a nudist colony instead (he was too embarrassed to ask for directions, so he just played the gig in the buff)
• The time a tuba player’s spit valve malfunctioned during a gig, spraying the entire front row of the audience with tuba spit (he later claimed it was a “special effect” and charged extra for it)

But don’t let these horror stories discourage you – for every tuba gig gone wrong, there are countless others that go right. And even the worst gigs can make for great stories later on (just ask the tuba player who played an entire gig with a family of raccoons living in his bell – true story).

The Tuba Gig Bucket List

So, what kind of gigs should a professional tuba player be on the lookout for? Here are a few bucket list items to add to your tuba gig wish list:

1. Playing the national anthem at a major sporting event (bonus points if you can do it while skydiving)
2. Performing with a world-renowned orchestra (or at least a decent community orchestra)
3. Recording a tuba solo album (and selling at least a dozen copies to your mom and dad)
4. Playing a gig on a cruise ship (just watch out for those rogue waves and seasick passengers)
5. Collaborating with a famous musician outside of the classical world (Kanye West, if you’re reading this, call me)

Of course, these are just a few examples – the tuba gig bucket list is as varied and unique as the players themselves. So don’t be afraid to dream big and set your own tuba goals, whether it’s playing a solo recital at Carnegie Hall or just making it through a gig without your spit valve malfunctioning.

The Tuba Gig Mantra

At the end of the day, finding gigs as a professional tuba player is not always easy. It takes hard work, dedication, and a willingness to put yourself out there and take chances.

But if you approach the process with a positive attitude, a sense of humor, and a deep love for your craft, you’ll find that the gigs will come. Maybe not as quickly or as easily as you’d like, but they will come.

So when the going gets tough and the gigs seem scarce, just remember this simple tuba gig mantra:

“I am a tuba player, hear me roar (or at least, hear me play a low B-flat) I will not let rejection or setbacks keep me down I will keep practicing, keep networking, and keep putting myself out there Because I know that somewhere, somehow, there’s a gig out there with my name on it And when I find it, I will play the heck out of it, and I will make the tuba proud.”

So go forth, my tuba-playing friends, and conquer the world, one gig at a time. And if all else fails, just remember: there’s always the option of busking on the subway. Hey, it worked for that guy with the accordion, so why not you?