9 Cigarette Smoking Tips for Beginners

If smoking was a game, consider this your cheat sheet. We’re diving into everything from picking the right cigarette to puffing like a pro. Think of it as a backstage pass to the smoky world of cigarettes, minus the actual smoke in your eyes.

1. Choosing Your Poison

Selecting the right cigarette is like picking a favorite child, tough but necessary. Some prefer the light, airy types, like they’re inhaling a cloud. Others go for the full-bodied, hit-you-in-the-chest kind, for that ‘I just hugged a grizzly bear’ sensation.

Walking into a store to buy cigarettes for the first time can be as overwhelming as trying to order a coffee at those fancy places. “I’ll have a cigarette, please.” “Sure, which of the 300 types would you like?” Decision paralysis is real, folks.

2. Mastering the Art of Lighting Up

Lighting a cigarette isn’t just about fire meeting tobacco; it’s a ritual. You’ve got options: matches for the traditionalist, lighters for the practical folks, and if you’re feeling fancy, a laser pointer – though I wouldn’t recommend it.

The wind is the smoker’s arch-nemesis. It’s like playing a mini-game of ‘Protect the Flame’ every time. And if you’re using matches, may the odds be ever in your favor.

3. The First Puff: A Rite of Passage

Ah, the first puff – it’s like a rite of passage. Remember, it’s not a race. Inhale gently, like you’re sipping a hot beverage. Unless you enjoy coughing like a cartoon character who swallowed a whole trumpet.

The first puff is often accompanied by a facial expression that says, “What have I done?” It’s a blend of surprise, mild regret, and curiosity. A face that speaks a thousand words, mostly “oops.”

4. Finding Your Smoking Style

Every smoker has a style. Some hold their cigarette like a jazz musician holds a saxophone, with finesse. Others hold it like they’re writing with a feather quill, adding a touch of elegance to their poison.

Experiment with different styles. Just avoid the ‘dropping hot ash on your clothes’ technique. It’s not as trendy as you might think.

5. Navigating the Social Smoker Scene

Social smoking is like a secret club with a single membership requirement: a lit cigarette. It’s where small talk was probably invented. “Nice weather, isn’t it?” Yes, Karen, especially with the added smoke.

Remember, sharing is caring. Offering a cigarette can be the beginning of a beautiful, smoky friendship. Just don’t be the person who always “forgets” their pack.

6. Dealing with the Aftermath

Congratulations, you’ve smoked a cigarette. Now you smell like you’ve camped out in a bonfire. The scent clings to you like a needy koala. Pro tip: Invest in a good perfume or cologne. Your friends and furniture will thank you.

And those little ash bits that find their way everywhere? They’re like glitter from the craft project you never signed up for. Keep a vacuum handy, or embrace the sparkle.

7. The Unspoken Rules of Smoking Etiquette

Smoking etiquette is a thing. Don’t blow smoke in someone’s face unless you’re looking to start a silent movie-style duel. Also, ashtrays are not just decorative; use them. No one likes a litterbug.

And if someone asks you for a light, it’s customary to oblige. It’s the smoker’s version of lending a cup of sugar.

8. Handling the ‘Quit Smoking’ Brigade

At some point, you’ll encounter the ‘quit smoking’ enthusiasts. They come armed with statistics and a concerned expression. Smile, nod, and remember, it’s your life, your lungs.

They mean well, but sometimes you just want to enjoy your cigarette in peace, without the guilt trip. It’s like eating a chocolate bar in front of a fitness coach.

9. Exploring the World of Cigarette Accessories

The world of cigarette accessories is vast and varied. There are cases that scream ‘I’m a detective in a noir film,’ portable ashtrays for the on-the-go smoker, and even fancy holders for those who wish to channel their inner 1920s movie star.

Choose accessories that match your style, but maybe skip the 10-foot-long cigarette holder. It’s a bit much, even for the most dedicated smokers.


And there you have it – a whirlwind tour through the smoky haze of cigarette smoking. You’ve learned the ins, outs, and in-betweens, from picking your poison to mastering the art of the puff. Remember, whether you’re a seasoned chimney or a newbie in the world of wisps, the key is to enjoy your smoky journey responsibly. Just don’t forget to invest in a good air freshener – your curtains (and friends) will thank you!


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