Putting weird, dangerous, or downright disgusting things in your mouth may seem amusing. But what seems like harmless fun can actually lead to injury, poisoning, choking, or other serious medical consequences. As the old saying goes, “You are what you eat.” So doesn’t it make sense to be careful what you put in your mouth?
So get ready for a wild ride through the ickiest, craziest menu of non-food items you’ll ever encounter! This gastronomic guide will arm you with the knowledge to keep both harmful and just plain gross things far away from your lips. Let’s dive in to the top 25 things you should never allow past your mouth!
1. A Cactus
Unless you enjoy intense pain and getting needles stuck in your gums, it’s best to avoid putting a cactus in your mouth. The spines are sharp and will definitely do some damage.
2. A Ball of Yarn
It may look tempting to cats, but unraveling a ball of yarn once it’s in your mouth seems like an awful mess to deal with. Save the yarn for knitting projects only.
3. A Lit Candle
This seems obvious, but the hot wax will burn and the flame could set your face on fire. Definitely don’t put candles in your mouth when they are lit.
4. A Bar of Soap
While non-toxic, soap tastes terrible and the bar will just get stuck in your teeth. Soap is meant for external use only!
5. A Lightbulb
Crunching down on a lightbulb would shatter it into sharp pieces of glass that could cut up your mouth and throat. No lightbulb snacks allowed!
Licking pennies could expose you to germs, and biting them can chip your teeth. Keep the coins out of your mouth!
7. A Fishing Hook
Getting a sharp fishing hook caught on your tongue or gums would be extremely painful. Leave the fishing gear out of your mouth.
8. Nails or Screws
Hard metal objects like nails and screws could easily break your teeth. Not to mention they are sharp and pointy – keep them far away from your mouth!
While paint may look like colorful liquid, it’s toxic. Never drink or put paint in your mouth!
Like tiny bits of glass, sand can cut and scrape your mouth. Spare yourself the agony and avoid crunching on sand.
Many glues are toxic, not to mention they tend to get extremely sticky and gross when mixed with saliva. Keep the glue sticks and bottles away from your lips.
No one wants to crunch down on the crunchy exoskeleton of a worm or swallow a fly. Keep the bugs out!
13. Pens or Markers
Chewing on pens and markers means you’ll end up with inky blue teeth and lips. Write with them, but keep them out of your mouth!
While intended for your lips, eating lipstick is a bad idea. Many products contain waxes, oils, and dyes that are not meant to be ingested.
15. A Rock
Licking a rock may seem harmless, but rocks carry all kinds of bacteria, dirt, and possible toxins. They are impossible to sanitize, so keep them out of your mouth.
16. Toilet Paper
Unused toilet paper may seem harmless, but it’s highly absorbent and could expand in your throat causing you to choke. Leave it on the roll.
17. Paper Money
Money is dirty! You don’t know where that cash has been. Eating it could make you really sick.
18. Tree Leaves
Tree leaves may look edible, but some carry toxins or pesticides. They are meant to stay on the tree, not go in your mouth!
19. Pet Food
Tempting as it may look, pet food is formulated for the nutritional needs of animals, not humans. It could make you really sick, so resist the urge!
20. A Cell Phone
All the germs and bacteria on your phone do not need to end up in your mouth. Make your phone hands-off and keep it away from your lips.
21. Hand Sanitizer
Ironically, hand sanitizer is full of alcohol and toxic chemicals and should never be ingested. It’s meant for your hands only!
22. Soap Bubbles
It may be fun to pop soap bubbles with your mouth, but ingesting soap can cause an upset stomach. Admire bubbles but don’t eat them!
23. Perfume or Cologne
These smell good but contain alcohol and other harsh chemicals. Spray it on your skin but keep it far from your mouth.
24. Cleaning Products
Bleach, furniture polish, oven cleaner – everything under your sink is toxic and should absolutely never go in your mouth.
25. Anything That’s Not Food
When in doubt, keep it out! Unless you are eating food meant for human consumption, it’s safest to keeprandom objects out of your mouth.
So there you have it – 25 things you should absolutely never, under any circumstances, put in your mouth. Stick to eating normal edible food items and you’ll maintain a healthy mouth free of injury and accidental poisoning! Use common sense and you’ll be good to go.
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