15 Things You Should Never Try to Microwave

Microwaves and Mayhem: A Recipe for Disaster

Microwaves, those magical boxes of convenience that make leftovers edible again and zap our popcorn to perfection, have long been a staple in our kitchens. But let’s face it, sometimes we get a bit too ambitious with them. We’ve all heard about the cautionary tales of aluminum foil explosions and the unmistakable odor of burnt popcorn wafting through the office breakroom.

1. Foil It Once, Shame on You

Ah, aluminum foil – the shiny, versatile kitchen companion that turns leftovers into tidy parcels of deliciousness. But never, I repeat, never attempt to microwave it. The foil’s reflective properties can create a dazzling light show and a blaze hot enough to make a dragon sweat. And nobody wants a molten microwave mess, right? So, next time you think about wrapping up your burrito in foil for a quick warm-up, just don’t. Unless you’re auditioning for the role of “Firestarter.”

2. You Can’t Beat the Heat… or Can You?

Speaking of foil, here’s a brilliant idea: Never put any metal objects in the microwave. Yes, that includes forks, spoons, and knives. You’d think that’s common knowledge, but we’ve all had our moments of microwave madness. The metal can spark a fiery spectacle that’ll leave you wondering if you accidentally opened a portal to another dimension. So, when reheating your leftover lasagna, just stick to microwave-safe dishes, and leave the cutlery in the drawer.

3. Hot Peppers, Hot Trouble

Have you ever been tempted to microwave a hot pepper to mellow out its fiery heat? Well, don’t. Seriously, just don’t. Microwaving a hot pepper can turn your kitchen into a tear-inducing gas chamber. The volatile oils in the pepper will release into the air, creating a spicy cloud of doom. Unless you’re planning a surprise pepper spray party, save yourself the trouble and opt for a different way to cool down that spicy chili.

4. Eggs-actly What Not to Do

Microwaving eggs is a bit like playing a culinary game of Russian roulette. The steam buildup inside an uncooked egg can lead to an explosive situation. And no one wants to clean egg splatters off the walls and ceiling. So, unless you’re prepared for a messy kitchen adventure, steer clear of microwaving whole eggs. Scrambled eggs in a microwave-safe dish? Sure. Whole eggs? Egg-sactly not.

5. Bread: Not So Toasty

We’ve all been there – you’re in a rush, and you want to warm up some bread quickly. But don’t be tempted to throw your loaf in the microwave without a second thought. Microwaving bread can turn it into a rubbery, chewy abomination that even a toaster couldn’t save. If you’re craving warm, crispy bread, take the extra few seconds to toast it properly. Microwaving bread is like trying to make a gourmet meal out of a rubber chicken – it’s just not going to work.

6. Leftover Pizza: A Slice of Soggy Sadness

Now, let’s talk about pizza. The leftover pizza game is strong in most households, but microwaving it? Not the best move. Microwaving your cold, cheesy slice will undoubtedly result in a sad, soggy mess. It’s like trying to rekindle a fizzled romance – it just won’t have the same magic. Instead, use the oven or a skillet to bring that pizza back to life with a crispy crust and gooey cheese. Microwave pizza is the culinary equivalent of a buzzkill.

7. Grapes: A Shocking Surprise

Grapes are a delicious and healthy snack, but if you ever find yourself wondering if you should microwave them, stop right there. Microwaving grapes can lead to a potentially shocking surprise. The high water content in grapes can cause them to spark and create a mini light show in your microwave. If you’re looking for entertainment, there are better options out there than watching grapes turn into tiny fireworks.

8. CDs: Skip the Microwave Encore

Remember those shiny discs that used to be the pinnacle of music and movie storage? Well, don’t even think about microwaving one. The aluminum layer on CDs can create sparks and flames when heated in the microwave. Plus, you’ll be left with a melted, unplayable mess of plastic and data. If you’re tired of your old CDs, consider recycling or upcycling them – just don’t try to give them a microwave encore.

9. Styrofoam: A Recipe for Toxicity

Styrofoam containers are convenient for takeout, but microwaving them? Not the wisest choice. When exposed to high heat, Styrofoam can release harmful chemicals into your food. So, unless you’re craving a side of toxicity with your leftovers, opt for a microwave-safe container or transfer your food to a microwave-safe dish before reheating.

10. Plastic Containers: A Melting Dilemma

While we’re on the topic of containers, let’s talk about plastic. Microwaving plastic containers can be a melting dilemma. Some plastics are not designed to withstand high temperatures, and when they melt, they can leach harmful chemicals into your food. To avoid turning your meal into a chemistry experiment, always use containers labeled as microwave-safe or transfer your food to a microwave-safe dish before heating.

11. Paper Bags: A Recipe for Fire

Picture this: You’re craving some warm, buttery popcorn, and you decide to throw a paper bag full of kernels into the microwave. Seems harmless, right? Wrong. Microwaving paper bags can be a recipe for fire. The intense heat can cause the bag to ignite, turning your popcorn dreams into a popcorn inferno. Stick to microwave-safe popcorn bags or a good old-fashioned stovetop popper for your movie night snack.

12. Travel Mugs: The Spill-Proof Illusion

Travel mugs are fantastic for keeping your beverages hot on the go, but microwaving them is a spill-proof illusion. The sealed design of many travel mugs can create a buildup of pressure when heated, leading to an explosive surprise when you open the microwave door. So, if you’re thinking about warming up that morning coffee, pour it into a microwave-safe container first. Your kitchen will thank you.

13. Takeout Containers: A Steamy Mess

We’ve all been guilty of reheating leftover Chinese takeout in its original container, but beware – it’s a steamy mess waiting to happen. The trapped steam can build up pressure inside the container, causing it to warp, crack, or even explode. Spare yourself the cleanup and transfer your delicious lo mein to a microwave-safe dish before reheating. Your taste buds will thank you.

14. Plastic Wrap: Not-So-Sealed Fate

Plastic wrap is a kitchen superhero when it comes to preserving food, but don’t expect it to perform miracles in the microwave. When heated, plastic wrap can melt and cling to your food like a clingy ex. It’s not only a nuisance to remove but can also release harmful chemicals into your meal. Save yourself the plastic wrap struggle and use a microwave-safe lid or cover instead.

15. Nothing at All: The Power of Emptiness

Last but not least, don’t ever run your microwave empty. It’s like driving a car with no destination – pointless and potentially damaging. The microwave’s energy needs something to absorb it, and when there’s nothing inside, it can end up bouncing back and damaging the microwave itself. So, even if you’re in a hurry, resist the urge to hit that start button with an empty microwave. It’s a lesson in the power of emptiness you’ll want to avoid.

In conclusion, the microwave is a marvelous invention, but it’s not a magical fix-all for every culinary whim. Remember these 15 things you should never try to microwave, and you’ll spare yourself the chaos, mess, and potential hazards that can arise from microwave mishaps.