The Guide to Serving Wine to a Roomful of Hyperactive Monkeys

There is nothing more exciting than serving wine to a roomful of hyperactive monkeys. Monkeys are naturally curious creatures and they can have a great time sipping and savoring wine. However, if you are not careful, they could end up spilling, breaking, or ruining your bottles. That’s why it is important to follow a few simple guidelines to make sure that everyone is safe and that the monkey’s experience is enjoyable.

Preparing for the Party

The first step when serving wine to a roomful of primates is to prepare the area. It is best to choose a room that is easy to clean and that has no breakable items like glass or ceramics. If a room cannot be secured with a lock, consider buying a childproof gate.

Next, inspect the room to make sure that there are no sharp objects like tools or toxic plants or shrubs that could injure the monkeys. You should also check the lights to make sure that they aren’t too bright, as the primate’s eyes could be sensitive to them.

Lastly, remove all sources of food from the area. Monkeys can become very competitive when it comes to food, so it is important to avoid any potential fights by keeping food away from the monkey’s reach.

Choosing the Right Type of Wine

Once the area is prepared, it is time to select the wine you will be serving. When it comes to selecting a wine for primates, it’s best to stay away from sweet wines like port or cream sherry. Instead, opt for a dry white or red variety. As an example, you can’t really go wrong with an unoaked white chardonnay or a light-bodied red, such as a pinot noir or Sangiovese.

Serving the Wine

When it comes to serving the wine, be sure to always portion it out using portions no larger than a shot glass. This will ensure that the monkeys don’t overindulge. If you don’t have shot glasses, you can use small paper cups or disposable containers to dispense the wine.

You should also leave the bottles of wine in a safe place and out of the monkeys’ reach. Lastly, it’s important to remember that primates may be unpredictable creatures and that any sudden movements could scare them or cause them to become aggressive. Therefore, it is important to keep a safe distance from them when dispensing the wine.

Creating a Responsible Environment

It is also important to create a responsible and secure environment in which to serve the wine. This means avoiding any behavior that could encourage irresponsible drinking or inappropriate behavior.

For example, it is important to avoid: paying too much attention to any monkeys that seem to be more intoxicated than the rest; playing games that involve alcohol; or giving extra servings of wine to any one monkey.

It is also important to keep an eye on the monkeys while they are drinking and to intervene if any of them seem to be becoming too intoxicated. Monkeys can be unpredictable when it comes to drinking, so it is important to be prepared and to act quickly if necessary.


Serving wine to a roomful of hyperactive monkeys can be an enjoyable and rewarding experience, but it is important to follow the proper safety precautions. From preparing the space to selecting the right type of wine to create a responsible environment, it is important to take the time to ensure that the experience is enjoyable and that all of the monkeys stay safe.


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