Suppose you are reading this article because you are bored at work or because it’s the last few minutes of your lunch break. Or, maybe you are one of those people who can’t let 5 minutes go by without checking Facebook or Instagram.
If you’re trying to get out of doing work by sitting on the toilet, here are ten things that you can do to pass the time and make it a more enjoyable experience.
1. Spread lies about family and friends on Facebook
Yes, spreading lies is one of the most enjoyable things you could do while sitting on the toilet at work. This will not only make you feel better, but at the same time, it’s a great way to make your friends and family think you are having fun.
If you want to make it more convincing, you can create a Facebook account in a different name without telling anyone who really owns the account.
2. Start an online business
While online marketing can be a very profitable venture, you don’t even need to spend any money to start an online business. All you need is your smartphone and a little free time on the toilet. What you need to do is find the top five things your friends and family like and want. For example, if they are all fond of tea, then it seems obvious that you should start a tea business. Or, if most of them hate spiders, then the most natural thing you can do is start a business killing spiders.
3. Prank your coworkers to get them arrested
While pranking coworkers while they are at work is not very advisable, it can certainly be very enjoyable. But before you go around pranking your coworkers, it might be a good idea to ask yourself a few questions: Is the probability of getting the person arrested high enough? Will they no longer come to work if they get arrested? If you can’t find any answers to these questions, it’s better to refrain from pranking the person.
4. Create a list of things that you hate about your stepdad
Yes, one of the most enjoyable things you can do while sitting on the toilet is composing a list of all the things you hate about your stepdad. Even if your mother says that your stepdad is a good man, he may actually be a terrible human being. When you are doing so, remember to feel free to express your hatred in an appropriate way. If you want, you can get even more creative and go beyond the classic “I hate my stepdad” statement.
5. Enjoy a pleasant daydream about your boss having a heart attack
Have you been looking for an opportunity to have some fun at work? If you have been having some tough days at work, this is undoubtedly the best thing you can do. Imagine a scenario where you and your coworkers are destroying your boss’s belongings, and he goes into cardiac arrest. When you do so, don’t worry about your boss finding out about the daydream. He will probably be too thrilled to see your terrified face when he tells you about a pay cut.
6. Discover the best places in the world to have an abortion
A lot of women discover that they are pregnant during their lunch break. In such a situation, it’s very easy to find a nice secluded spot where you can have an abortion without having to face the grumpy looks from your coworkers. All you need is a smartphone and a little bit of free time. That’s all you need to take the plunge. A few minutes in the bathroom is all it takes to find a cozy abortion clinic to get rid of the redheaded child you never wanted.
7. Scratch-off lottery tickets
Even if you are just five minutes away from your computer, you can still scratch-off lottery tickets. It’s very easy to do that even if you are just sitting on the toilet. All you need are some scratch-off lottery tickets, a few minutes of free time, and the urge to scratch like a person who has a bad case of flea bites.
8. Learn how to give yourself a colonoscopy
If you are reading this while on the toilet, then there is a perfect chance that you want to find out how to give yourself a colonoscopy. If you do, then it’s absolutely no problem for you to learn how to do it. All you need to do is find a free online video tutorial. Just remember that when you are learning how to give yourself a colonoscopy, the most important thing is to be comfortable.
9. Listen to music while you have diarrhea
Yes, listening to music while you have diarrhea is one of the most enjoyable things you can do. All you need are earbuds to put in your ears and your smartphone. If you want, you can also install some music streaming apps on your smartphone. The choice is up to you.
10. Use a hot plate and cook everyone in the office lunch
Cooking lunch while sitting on the toilet is far less disgusting than it sounds. All you need is a hot plate, a few minutes of free time, and the urge to cook everyone in the office lunch.
If you decide to cook everyone in the office lunch, make sure you cook them something tasty like salted fish fried rice. The smell of the seafood wafting out of the bathroom stall will make anyone curious as to what’s going on in there.
I hope that if you find yourself in a situation where you have to sit on the toilet at work, the information in this article will help you pass the time and make it a more enjoyable experience. After all, there are far more enjoyable things to do at work than sitting behind a desk.
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