Online Dating Tips for Those Who Always Have Diarrhea

If you suffer from always having diarrhea, you might think that online dating is not for you. But don’t despair! There are plenty of people out there who are in the same boat as you. Here are some tips to help you navigate the world of online dating when you have diarrhea:

Don’t leave home without toilet paper.

If you’re going on a date in person, never leave the house without your toilet paper and wet wipes. It’s not just because you can’t always predict where the nearest bathroom is, but also because the best dates sometimes extend past the planned hour of departure. If you have to go number two in the middle of that extended dinner conversation with your new flame, you want to make sure it’s as smooth a process as possible. And if there isn’t any TP available when nature calls? You’ll probably be too busy gritting your teeth to remember where you put that extra roll in your bag! This is why I recommend always carrying around an extra roll or two with you everywhere you go. The softest brand within your price range will do just fine; what matters most is how many squares are on each roll and how much they cost per square foot (not by weight).

Sometimes it’s OK to lie and say you have a headache instead.

We’ve all been there—hooked up with a friend of a friend because their profile said that they play the guitar. You don’t really have feelings for him or her and don’t want to put in the effort, so you decide to take it easy and just enjoy yourself. You even tell your date how much you like his or her profile picture!

The thing is, though, since you went out on the date expecting nothing more than some casual fun, the other person might expect something more serious from your relationship if they find out. They might ask you why you didn’t call again after hanging out for just an hour―or even worse, end things with a bang: “Well it was fun but I can see now that we’re not compatible so I’ll go have coffee with this other guy who said he’s my soulmate! This sucks!”

So what do you say? Lie? If so, be prepared to cancel the date if things don’t go well, and be prepared for any awkwardness that may ensue. But if you choose not to lie… well then maybe just keep it simple and not too serious from the start. That way no one gets hurt and everyone walks away happy…. hopefully in better spirits (even though they probably won’t admit it).

Be honest, but also be realistic.

It’s hard to find the line between a) lying and b) being completely upfront about your condition. While you don’t want to lie or leave anything out about your situation, you also don’t want to lead with it (unless you want to scare people away). On the other hand, this problem isn’t going anywhere anytime soon, so if you’re looking for a long-term relationship, it will eventually come up.

You know your body better than anyone else. You know what triggers flare-ups and what foods are too risky for you to eat. In a way, having diarrhea has enlightened you about yourself in ways that others may never understand—and maybe there is someone else out there who understands that part of you! Just be cautious; some people might not be able to handle the truth (about your colon).

Diarrhea happens, but it doesn’t have to stop you from getting out there and meeting new people.

With a little preparation (and a lot of toilet paper), you can have a great time and maybe even find love! Who knows, your next date could be the start of something amazing. Just don’t forget to bring your wet wipes. Oh, and if you’re having diarrhea at work, check out these things to do while on the toilet.


I'm a human being. Usually hungry. I don't have lice.

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