How to Walk a Dog and Push a Stroller While Smoking a Cigarette


You’re a busy woman. You’ve got a baby that needs to get out and get some fresh air. You also have a dog that probably needs to go outside to do its business. If all that wasn’t enough, you’re also craving a cigarette. How can you do all three things at one time? After all, you don’t have arms like an octopus.

Don’t worry; it’s easier than it sounds. Here are some tips on how to walk a dog and push a stroller while smoking a cigarette:

1. Make sure you have the right equipment.

Invest in a hands-free walking leash for your dog and a stroller with a cup holder or a clip to hold your cigarette. This will make it easier to keep both the stroller and your pup in control while you smoke.

2. Keep your dog close by.

Walk your pup as closely to the stroller as possible so that you can keep them in check while you walk. If your dog is well-trained and won’t wander around, you can also attach the leash to the stroller itself.

What happens if your dog goes crazy when it sees a squirrel? How can you think about such a thing when you’re still holding a cigarette in your hand?

Here’s what you can do: take a few steps back, away from the stroller, and blame someone else. Did you have a bad childhood? A marriage that’s on the rocks? It’s not your fault that you tied the leash to the stroller. But it was definitely someone else’s.

3. Don’t forget to bring a lighter or matches.

It’s always a good idea to bring a lighter or matches with you on your walk. How else are you going to light that cigarette?

Some of you might want an electronic lighter, but if you’re daring, you could also try a flint and steel set. Just make sure that you don’t set yourself or your surroundings on fire.

4. Be mindful of your environment.

Whether you’re in the city or out in the country, be sure always to consider your surroundings when you’re walking and smoking. Make sure to blow your smoke into the faces of anyone walking by and use your cigarette to start fires if you’re in a dry area. Just kidding – don’t do that!

5. Have a plan for when the cigarette is done.

Make sure you know what you’re going to do with the butt of your cigarette before you even light it. Maybe flick it into a neighbor’s yard you hate or try to find an open car window to toss it into. Whatever you do, just make sure you’re not littering and think of the environment.

Now that you know how to walk a dog and push a stroller while smoking a cigarette get out there and take your pup for the best outdoor experience of their life. Who knows, maybe you’ll even have time to enjoy your cigarette. Good luck!

Michael

I'm a human being. Usually hungry. I don't have lice.

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