How to tell if your cat has diarrhea

As a fake blogger I feel it’s my responsibility to inform the public. There are times when this responsibility gets the best of me. When it does, I eat potato chips. Then I snap out of the funk and get straight to work educating the world at large. It’s not small task and I don’t mind it. I usually fit it in between watching episodes of The Banana Splits. If there ever was anything worth binge watching it’s that show. Just the theme song from the show is enough to make you tune into it.

I have an odd pimple like thing on my face

I noticed it when I woke up this morning. It kind of hurts. The skin around it is thicker than a normal pimple. It reminds me of an egg cooked over easy with a thicker than normal white part over the yolk. I’m sure that white part has a name. I’m too lazy to look it up. Just like I’m too lazy to look in the mirror and see what that thing is on my face. I sure hope it’s not a pterodactyl that got attached to my face during the night.

I always sit next to the guy who smells like garlic

It never seems to fail. It doesn’t matter where I am. I can be all the way around the world and the same exact thing happens. I sit down on the bus, and before long, someone comes along that smells like garlic. They aren’t there when I sit down. It’s always after I sit down. How can that be possible when it happens in countries far away from each other? I could go anywhere on planet earth and the person who ends up sitting next to me on the bus smells like garlic. I suppose there are worse things they could smell like. Have you ever sniffed a toupee sold at Good Will? If you have, then you know something smells worse than garlic.

Zestfully clean

I love how people scrubbing up or washing their hair in the shower always do so with a smile on their face during TV commercials. I don’t remember a single time when I smiled while bathing. Maybe I’m just a boring guy. I’ve also never just shampooed just one half of my head before. Like many of you I try to wash my hair at least once a month. Sure, it feels good to be under the shower and enjoy the warm wet water as it dances on my scalp. It’s never felt so good that I smiled. Maybe I’m doing something wrong. It might be time that I upgraded my shampoo.

I sure hope your cat doesn’t have diarrhea

I can’t help you if it does. Why would you think a fake blogger could help you anyway? I’m not here to give you answers. My job is to help you burn some time in between the nonsense we call every day life. The time when you’re waiting at the barber or salon to see if you do in fact have lice. Those few precious moments when you’re waiting what the pregnancy test says. That’s where this blog comes in handy. It’s for those moments in time when you need something to fill the space.

When I take this blog too serious I gum up. I don’t know if gum up is the right term. Maybe I should say freeze up. I don’t want to do anything that needs to be taken seriously. What’s the point in that? I see people taking stuff seriously every day and they really don’t accomplish much. They’re like drivers going around in circles on a race car track. The only time they know when the race is over is when the checkered flag comes out. Otherwise, those people would still be driving in a circle. Much is the same with people in their day to day lives. Some people never get bored of going around that circle. I’m the type who says forget about the circle and let’s figure out how to tap dance on rays of sunshine. It can’t be any worse than going around in a circle like a dog chasing its tail.

Call a vet

That’s my advice. You could try calling up just anyone. Free advice is better than no advice. Phone books really don’t exist today. They do if you can find someone old. You won’t actually get to use their phone book. They’ll spend too much time complaining about how small the print in the phone book is. Then you’re back to square one. You’ve got a cat with diarrhea and you still don’t know what to do.

189
Leave a Reply

avatar
102 Comment threads
87 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
2 Comment authors
MichaelAlinanorveilex Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of
Alina
Guest

Probably the cat was so hungry that had to eat garlic and to get rid of the smell drank a few cups of shampoo, the part that they don’t use in commercials, the pimple thing is because of the stressful situation not knowing if the cat would have its problem done in front of a mouse. That would be embarrassing. Poor cats! Hopefully I’ve learnt to not sit down in the bus, even if I am all alone in it. Thank You!

Alina
Guest

I forgot to specify that I never go by bus anywhere.

Alina
Guest

I had.

norveilex
Guest
norveilex

Did you take the bus some place fun?

norveilex
Guest
norveilex

I think I should’ve put the word “to” in there. I’m too tired to type right now.

Alina
Guest

Traveling by bus is fun enough regardless of the destination. Especially when the bus is crowded and you have to avoid being touched by visible or invisible individuals.

norveilex
Guest
norveilex

I think invisible individuals are the worst. Unless they smell like fresh baked bread that is.

Alina
Guest

Baker invisible people always leave traces, that’s true.

Alina
Guest

Or confusion.

Alina
Guest

I’ve got a cat…ish kinda pet. Your article is very helpful. 🙂

norveilex
Guest
norveilex

What exactly do you have as a pet?

Alina
Guest

My pet is pretty healthy. Others might say scary and loathsome, I just don’t listen to them. Its name is Darky. Maybe I will show it to you one day, I am not sure yet. I don’t want to cause any trauma to my dear animal. People’s reaction may cause it to hide in some shadowy corner and never come out. Thanks for asking! Have a great day!

norveilex
Guest
norveilex

What does your pet smell like?

Alina
Guest

It always takes the smell of the beholder. So cute! It blends also well in the environment.

norveilex
Guest
norveilex

That made my nose smile.

Alina
Guest

Only your nose? What were your ears doing meanwhile…?

Alina
Guest

She’s back in the scene, isn’t she? Best wishes to your lovely aunt!

Alina
Guest

You must feel voraciously loved.

Alina
Guest

Do you make her coffee&tea every Saturday morning?

Alina
Guest

I also think that’s cool! I already like him. Your aunt is so lucky!

Alina
Guest

Are you going to make a live broadcast with all of them? Don’t forget to let me know the precise day and hour, I don’t want to miss a thing!

Alina
Guest

That’s good enough! Ring the bell on your Twitter account when it happens. Good luck!

Alina
Guest

Do you have an assurance for it ?

Alina
Guest

It’s kinda complicated, maybe some sort of a brain testing machine could answer to that. Maybe you can trick your brain to design such a smart machine. Good luck!

Alina
Guest

Do you want me to give you some of my own?

Alina
Guest

Send your giraffe over, he is faster and you’ll have your pizza in a minute. Do you want it with extracheese ?

Alina
Guest

I’ll keep it simple. Let me know when he is on his way to my kitchen.

Alina
Guest

Mozzarella is still on the shelves in the store

Alina
Guest

They all dream about playing a role in a YouTube video with many visualisations.

Alina
Guest

Have you already got one?

Alina
Guest

I would watch a video attached to every article you write. It would be interesting to see an addapted film version of it. ☺

Alina
Guest

And the actors?

Alina
Guest

Buy some on Amazon.

Alina
Guest

What are they striking for?

Alina
Guest

Maybe your flea circus is available and eager to appear in a YouTube video.

Alina
Guest

They will never interact with each other anyway; it’s pointless to be jealous as long as you have enough blood in your system. I thought they get a minimal education in their schooling programs. Weird.

Alina
Guest

I don’t understand why do you want lice so badly….Maybe you like them fighting….hmmm

Alina
Guest

When you’ll get the lice, I can only hope you will not want also leeches.

Alina
Guest

I know! Hives would be the ideal solution to all your itchy craves.

Alina
Guest

I know! Hives would be the ideal solution to all your cravings!

Alina
Guest

I posted twice, it was not my intention…is that bad?

Alina
Guest

They feel same as everyone: important.

Alina
Guest

Don’t they sell on Amazon lab mosquitos? Give it a try, avoid useless suffering 🙂

Alina
Guest

Do they sell it by piece or by wieght

Alina
Guest

No

Alina
Guest

Me too. But I don’t know why…

Alina
Guest

Milk looks good, looks like beer when freshly milked. Just close your eyes and drink the liquor!

Alina
Guest

No bubbles, unless you add some using straws.

Alina
Guest

Too bad you are not doing it anymore. Maybe you’ll practice it with your daughter when she is ready to have this sort of fun.

Alina
Guest

I’d better charge my phone.

Alina
Guest

I remembered you always say that we must charge it. I usually want to do the right thing.

Alina
Guest

The same thing happened to me: when I woke up I had to charge my phone. I hope the day will find a nice thing to end itself.

Alina
Guest

And more. I suspect it has got a secret imaginary friend and its messaging while I am sleeping. Who could understand phones these days? Not me.

Alina
Guest

Start talking to your phone, maybe little by little you can humanize it …. are you already doing it?