You’re homeless. It sucks. You’re living in your car. Just because you’re homeless and living in your car doesn’t mean you want to eat stale bagels. You’re homeless, not a barbarian. Here are some tips to help keep your bagels fresh while living in your car.
1. Make sure the bagel is completely dry:
Moisture is the enemy when it comes to keeping your bagels fresh. Before storing, ensure all the moisture has been completely removed. You can air-dry the bagel or pat it down with a paper towel to ensure it is completely dry.
If you were licking your bagel before storing it, make sure to use a clean paper towel or napkin to wipe the bagel off before storing. You may also consider taking antipsychotic medications to curb your urge to lick the bagel.
2. Keep it away from warm temperatures:
Heat and humidity can quickly turn your bagel from fresh to stale. Keep your bagels away from direct sunlight, and avoid storing them in hot areas of your car, like the glove compartment or dashboard.
If possible, you can store your bagels in a cooler with cold packs to keep them cool and dry. If that’s not possible, you can put them in a paper bag or, even better, an airtight container.
If you have no kittens in the trunk of your car, you can also put the paper bag or airtight container inside the trunk to keep it away from the heat.
3. Hide it from any critters:
Cars can be a haven for pests like mice and rats. Worse yet, bums can also be drawn to your car’s bagel supply. So make sure you store your bagels where critters (both four and two-legged) can’t get at them.
You may want to put your bagels in a toolbox because we all know that critters don’t have opposable thumbs. However, consider investing in one if you don’t have a toolbox. It’s worth it for fresh bagels.
4. Store them under your hat:
If you’re not worried about pests, consider storing your bagels under your hat. This may seem weird, but hats are surprisingly effective at keeping things like bagels fresh. The warmth from your head helps to keep the bagel’s moisture trapped in, keeping it soft and fresh for days.
Here are some common mistakes homeless people make when storing bagels in their cars:
Not wrapping the bagels in plastic:
Storing bagels without wrapping them in plastic or similar material can cause the bagels to become stale and dry. Wrapping them in plastic or similar material will help to keep the bagels moist and fresh for longer.
Not storing them in a cool place:
Storing bagels in direct sunlight or near the car’s motor can cause them to become stale. The best place to store bagels is in a cool, dry spot away from direct sunlight and the motor’s heat.
Not storing them in an airtight container:
Storing bagels without an airtight container can allow air to circulate around the bagels, causing them to become dry and stale. Investing in an airtight container will help keep the bagels fresh and moist.
Not keeping them away from other food:
Storing bagels too close to other types of food, such as fruit or meat, can cause cross-contamination and spoil the bagels. Keeping them away from other food will help extend their shelf life.
Keeping your bagels fresh while living in your car is easier than you may think. Just because you live in a car and your life sucks don’t mean you have to eat stale bagels. You can keep your bagels fresh and delicious for days with a few simple tips. And with the right storage techniques, you can keep your bagel supply from being raided by pests or bums. So don’t despair – your bagels will stay fresh no matter how much your life sucks.
With so much talk about the dangers of selfies gone wrong, some may be wondering if there is any scientific reason to ever consider putting your head inside of a Lion's mouth. It is definitely a...
Brewing beer from freshly-caught narwhals is an ancient tradition that dates back to the early days of Arctic exploration. It’s a craft that can impart an amazing sense of accomplishment and an...