I wanted to give you all an update on the hemorrhoid situation. I still don’t know if what I have is a hemorrhoid or not. I’m a loss of words to be able to describe what it is. I still haven’t had anyone take a look at it since I’m not sure how to go about that. I’m leery of any stranger who would be willing to take a look. I also have a difficult time looking at pictures of hemorrhoids on the Internet because it’s such an awful sight. If you’ve never looked up pictures of hemorrhoids on the Internet, don’t start doing it now. It’s a terrible thing to look at unless you’re trying to find something that will destroy your appetite.
I think Henry is half the hemorrhoid he used to be. It might be a pimple I really have no idea. I remember two years ago, well, maybe it was three years ago, that I had something similar. I blamed it on sitting on a cold bench during the wintertime. It also happened to be a time when I gave up both sugar and alcohol. I wonder if giving up those two things could cause a person to get a hemorrhoid? It is an eerie similarity, and I’m not sure that I believe in coincidences. I have only eaten sugar two times while I have drunk I think a total of four beers this month. Maybe it would be best if I spoonfed myself sugar and washed it down with plenty of beer.
Sometimes I become sad when I think about all the things that Henry and I could’ve done in the short time he was here. We will never eat ice cream on a hot summer day. I had hoped someday that we would be able to sit on the beach and watch the sunset together. I get choked up when I think about how we will never be able to go on a hot air balloon ride. I’m not going to lie; sometimes, it’s hard to go on knowing that he isn’t going to be right there with me the entire time. It’s not easy losing someone so close to you but yet feels as if they are somehow so distant and far away.
You don’t appreciate something until it’s gone. There are still quite a few things that Henry and I can do together to share the precious time that we do have. I tried to set aside plenty of time for all of the activities that I want to do before he is nothing more than a distant memory. It’s kind of sad that I won’t have anything to remember him by. I won’t have any pictures or videos that I can go back and look during those times when I miss him.
He was one of the good hemorrhoids. He was the type a hemorrhoid that everyone wishes they have. It hurts in the beginning, but somehow the pain subsided, and I was able to enjoy him being a part of my life. These are sad days because I know the saddest days are yet to come. I have a feeling I will be sitting down and eating a Subway sandwich that I regret while trying to hold back tears as I think of him. I’ll hate the sandwich, but I love the hemorrhoid.