Don’t use cotton swabs to clean out your ears

I always make this big time mistake. I feel a little earwax building up, and I immediately reach for a cotton swab. The doctor I had as a child said that you shouldn’t stick anything smaller than your fist in your ear. My ear hole is too small for a fist. So, I choose a cotton swab instead. I don’t remember the size of his ears, but he must have had big ears to fit a fist inside them.

It always starts with me noticing a wax build up in my left ear. So, I use a cotton swab and to get out the wax. Digging the cotton swab in my ear feels so good. So good, that I have to do it to the other ear. You can’t enjoy such unimaginable pleasure in just one ear. That’s where I get myself into real trouble. It’s happened more times than I can count.

I can swab my left ear without ever any problems. I don’t understand why, but my right ear is totally different. I end up pushing the wax deeper in my ear and can’t hear anything. Sometimes that’s a good thing if you don’t want to hear what’s going on around you. But, it gets real old fast if you need to listen to something important.

I have wax build up in my left ear right now. I’m so tempted to use a cotton swab. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to fend off temptation and stick it in my right ear. There needs to be some kind of helpline to help those of us in a situation like this. I don’t want to be deaf in my right ear. Not deaf, but oddly muted in a way that’s not entertaining.


I'm a human being. Usually hungry. I don't have lice.

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